{"id":254484,"date":"2025-10-27T12:58:34","date_gmt":"2025-10-27T09:58:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/?p=254484"},"modified":"2025-10-27T12:58:34","modified_gmt":"2025-10-27T09:58:34","slug":"zorbalik-bir-guc-gosterisi-degil-yardim-cagrisidir-uzman-psikolog-dilara-caliskan-karadeveden-carpici-aciklamalar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/zorbalik-bir-guc-gosterisi-degil-yardim-cagrisidir-uzman-psikolog-dilara-caliskan-karadeveden-carpici-aciklamalar\/","title":{"rendered":"Zorbal\u0131k bir g\u00fc\u00e7 g\u00f6sterisi de\u011fil, yard\u0131m \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r! Uzman Psikolog Dilara \u00c7al\u0131\u015fkan Karadeve\u2019den \u00c7arp\u0131c\u0131\u00a0A\u00e7\u0131klamalar"},"content":{"rendered":"

Zorbal\u0131k Bir G\u00fc\u00e7 G\u00f6sterisi De\u011fil, Yard\u0131m \u00c7a\u011fr\u0131s\u0131d\u0131r Bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131 durumlar kelimelere d\u00f6k\u00fclemiyorsa, davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 ba\u011f\u0131rmaya ba\u015flar. Biz yeti\u015fkinler o sesi duymay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenirsek, zorbal\u0131\u011f\u0131n yerini \u015fefkat, anlay\u0131\u015f ve s\u0131n\u0131r dengesi al\u0131r. Her \u00e7ocuk do\u011fru bir bak\u0131\u015fla yeniden g\u00fcvenli hissedebilir. Yeter ki biz \u00f6nce duymay\u0131, sonra g\u00f6stermeyi bilelim Mavi Kad\u0131n \u00d6zel Haber ekibinden i\u00e7erik edit\u00f6r\u00fc Melisa Asl\u0131 Bekerenli, konuyu Uzman Psikolog Dilara \u00c7al\u0131\u015fkan Karadeve\u2019a sordu<\/p>\n

B\u0130R \u00c7OCUK NEDEN BA\u015eKA B\u0130R \u00c7OCU\u011eA ZARAR VER\u0130R?<\/h3>\n

Bu sorunun cevab\u0131, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman “k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fck” de\u011fil; g\u00f6r\u00fclmeyen duygusal ihtiya\u00e7, bast\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir duygu ya da \u00f6\u011frenilmi\u015f bir modeldir. \u00c7ocuklar d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kelimelerle de\u011fil, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla anlat\u0131rlar. Ve bazen “vurdu”, “itti” ya da “d\u0131\u015flad\u0131” dedi\u011fimiz davran\u0131\u015flar asl\u0131nda \u201cbeni duyun\u201d diyen bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131\u011f\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

ZORBALI\u011eIN PS\u0130KOLOJ\u0130K K\u00d6KEN\u0130<\/h3>\n

Zorbal\u0131k<\/a> yapan \u00e7ocuklar genellikle g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz, de\u011fersiz ya da g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez hissettikleri bir ortamda bu duygularla ba\u015f edebilmek i\u00e7in kontrol kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rlar. \u0130\u00e7sel olarak \u015funlar\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebilirler:
\n\u201cBeni dinlemiyorlar.\u201d \u201cBen kimseye g\u00fcvenemem.\u201d \u201cBen g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmal\u0131y\u0131m, yoksa ezilirim.\u201d Bu i\u00e7sel diyalog, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman agresyon davran\u0131\u015f\u0131na d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febilir. Baz\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar \u00f6fkelerini y\u00f6netmeyi \u00f6\u011frenememi\u015ftir, baz\u0131lar\u0131ysa \u00e7evresinde g\u00f6rd\u00fckleri agresif davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 tekrar eder. Kimi \u00e7ocuk i\u00e7in bu dikkat \u00e7ekme giri\u015fimidir; kimi i\u00e7inse yaln\u0131zca \u00f6\u011frenilmi\u015f bir savunmad\u0131r.
\nZorbal\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131nda \u00e7o\u011funlukla bast\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f bir duygusal ihtiya\u00e7 vard\u0131r:
\n– g\u00f6r\u00fclmek,
\n– anla\u015f\u0131lmak,
\n– kontrol\u00fc yeniden kazanmak,
\n– ya da de\u011ferli hissetmek.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

ZORBALIK YAPAN \u00c7OCU\u011eU NASIL UYARMALIYIZ?<\/h3>\n

Bir \u00e7ocu\u011fu \u201czorba\u201d olarak etiketlemek yerine, davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 do\u011fru bi\u00e7imde s\u0131n\u0131rland\u0131rmak gerekir.
\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc her uyar\u0131 asl\u0131nda bir \u00f6\u011fretim f\u0131rsat\u0131d\u0131r. Olay an\u0131nda:
\n\u2022 Sakin ama net ol
\n\u2022 Davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 isimlendir, ki\u015fili\u011fi de\u011fil
\n\u2022 Tutarl\u0131 sonu\u00e7lar uygula
\nOlaydan sonra:
\n\u2022 Duygu ke\u015ffileri yap\u0131lmal\u0131: \u201cNe hissettin o anda?\u201d, \u201cSence neden b\u00f6yle yapt\u0131n?\u201d
\n\u2022 Alternatif davran\u0131\u015flar \u00f6\u011fretilmeli: \u201cK\u0131zd\u0131\u011f\u0131nda vurmak yerine \u2018sinirliyim\u2019 diyebilirsin.\u201d
\n\u2022 Yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131 hatal\u0131 davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n sorumlulu\u011funu almal\u0131: \u00d6z\u00fcr dilemek, zarar verdi\u011fi ki\u015fiye
\nyard\u0131mc\u0131 olmak, ili\u015fkiyi yeniden kurmak. Disiplin, otorite ceza de\u011fildir. Do\u011fru s\u0131n\u0131rlar \u00e7ocu\u011fun i\u00e7sel kontrol\u00fcn\u00fc g\u00fc\u00e7lendirir. S\u0131n\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131k tehlikelidir.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

ZORBALIK YAPAN \u00c7OCUK ASLINDA NE HAYKIRIYOR?<\/h3>\n

Her \u00e7ocuk \u201cAnne, ben zorbal\u0131\u011fa u\u011frad\u0131m.\u201d diyemez. Ama davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131, ses tonu, y\u00fcz ifadesi bunu s\u00f6yler. Ebeveynlerin dikkat etmesi gereken \u00e7ocu\u011fun verdi\u011fi sessiz i\u015faretler vard\u0131r.
\nDikkat edilmesi gereken davran\u0131\u015flar:
\n\u2022 Okula gitmek istememe, s\u00fcrekli bahaneler \u00fcretme,
\n\u2022 Notlarda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fc\u015f, \u00f6dev yapmay\u0131 reddetme,
\n\u2022 Uyku, i\u015ftah veya enerji de\u011fi\u015fiklikleri,
\n\u2022 Sosyal i\u00e7e \u00e7ekilme, eskiden sevdi\u011fi oyunlara kar\u015f\u0131 ilgisizlik,
\n\u2022 \u201cKimse beni sevmiyor.\u201d gibi genellemeler yapabilir.
\nEbeveyn ne yapmal\u0131?
\n\u2022 Ele\u015ftirmek yerine anlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmal\u0131.
\n\u2022 A\u00e7\u0131k u\u00e7lu sorular sorulabilir:
\n\u201cBug\u00fcn seni \u00fczen bir \u015fey oldu mu?\u201d
\n\u201cSon zamanlarda biraz yorgun g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcyorsun, payla\u015fmak ister misin?\u201d
\n\u2022 G\u00fcnl\u00fck rutinler olu\u015fturmal\u0131: k\u0131sa sohbetler yap\u0131labilir, yatmadan \u00f6nce g\u00fcn\u00fcn \u00f6zeti
\nyap\u0131labilir.
\n\u2022 Okulla ileti\u015fimde kalmak \u00f6nem ta\u015f\u0131r, \u00f6\u011fretmenin g\u00f6zlemleri s\u00fcre\u00e7 i\u00e7erisinde \u00e7ok de\u011ferlidir.
\nSessizlik \u00e7ocuklarda \u00e7ok \u015fey anlatabilir. Ebeveynin g\u00f6revi ise o davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki hik\u00e2yeyi
\nduymakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

A\u0130LELER FARKINDA OLMADAN ZORBALI\u011eI NASIL BESL\u0130YOR
\nOLAB\u0130L\u0130R?<\/h3>\n

Hi\u00e7bir ebeveyn \u00e7ocu\u011funun zorbal\u0131k<\/a> yapmas\u0131n\u0131 istemez. Ancak fark\u0131nda olmadan baz\u0131 ebeveyn
\ntutumlar\u0131 bu davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 besleyebilir:
\nRiskli ebeveyn tutumlar\u0131 nelerdir:
\n\u2022 Evde ba\u011f\u0131rman\u0131n, ele\u015ftirmenin normalle\u015fmesi.
\n\u2022 \u201cAbartma, a\u011flanacak \u015fey mi bu?\u201d diyerek duygular\u0131 k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsemek.
\n\u2022 A\u015f\u0131r\u0131 koruyucu tutumla \u00e7ocu\u011fun sosyal dayan\u0131kl\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 zay\u0131flatmak.
\n\u2022 \u201cErkek adam a\u011flamaz.\u201d, \u201cZay\u0131f g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez.\u201d gibi g\u00fc\u00e7 tak\u0131nt\u0131l\u0131 mesajlar.
\n\u2022 Tutars\u0131z s\u0131n\u0131rlar ve kurallar.
\n\u2022 Negatif davran\u0131\u015fa dikkat vererek fark\u0131nda olmadan \u00e7ocu\u011fu \u00f6d\u00fcllendirmek.
\n\u00c7ocuklar nasihatle \u00f6\u011frenmez. Evde duygular\u0131n konu\u015fuldu\u011fu, \u00f6z\u00fcr dilenebilen, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n net oldu\u011fu
\nbir ortam zorbal\u0131\u011f\u0131n panzehiridir.<\/p>\n

Zorbal\u0131k, bast\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f duygular\u0131n kabu\u011funu k\u0131rma bi\u00e7imidir.
\nO \u00e7ocuk asl\u0131nda \u015funu s\u00f6yl\u00fcyor olabilir:
\n\u201cBeni fark edin.\u201d
\n\u201cBeni sevin.\u201d
\n\u201cBen de hissediyorum ama anlatam\u0131yorum.\u201d
\nZorbal\u0131k \u00e7o\u011fu zaman korku, \u00f6fke, utan\u00e7 ya da de\u011fersizlik duygular\u0131n\u0131n yans\u0131mas\u0131d\u0131r.
\nBu nedenle, sadece davran\u0131\u015fa de\u011fil, davran\u0131\u015f\u0131n alt\u0131ndaki duygusal mesaj\u2019a bakmak gerekir.
\n\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc davran\u0131\u015f de\u011fi\u015fir, ama duygusu anla\u015f\u0131lmadan iyile\u015fmez.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

ZORBALI\u011eIN PANZEH\u0130R\u0130 NED\u0130R?<\/h3>\n

Benim i\u00e7in zorbal\u0131\u011f\u0131n panzehiri \u00fc\u00e7 kelimede sakl\u0131: Duygu \u0130fadesi, S\u0131n\u0131rlar ve Sorumluluk<\/p>\n

Duygu \u0130fadesi; \u00c7ocu\u011fun duygusunu fark etmesi, adland\u0131rmas\u0131 ve s\u00f6zc\u00fcklerle ifade etmesi. Bu beceri duygusal okuryazarl\u0131\u011f\u0131n temelidir.
\nS\u0131n\u0131rlar; Kendisini nas\u0131l korumas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi \u00e7ocu\u011fa \u00f6\u011fretilmelidir. S\u0131n\u0131rlar sevgisizlik de\u011fil, tam aksine ki\u015fiyi koruyucudur.
\nSorumluluk; Hatal\u0131 davran\u0131\u015f ya da davran\u0131\u015flardan sonra ili\u015fkiyi yeniden kurma becerisidir. \u00d6z\u00fcr dilemek, telafi etmek, yeniden ba\u011f kurmak \u00f6nemlidir. Ki\u015fiye sorumluluk bilinci kazand\u0131r\u0131r. Evde duygular konu\u015fulabiliyorsa, \u00e7ocuk \u00f6fkesini \u015fiddetle de\u011fil s\u00f6zlerle ifade eder. Toplumda empati de\u011fer olarak benimsedi\u011finde, zorbal\u0131k yava\u015f yava\u015f etkisini yitirir.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun zorland\u0131\u011f\u0131 durumlar kelimelere d\u00f6k\u00fclemiyorsa, davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 konu\u015fmaya ba\u015flar. Uzman Psikolog Dilara \u00c7al\u0131\u015fkan Karadeve, Mavi Kad\u0131n \u00d6zel Haber ekibinden Melisa Asl\u0131 Bekerenli\u2019ye anlatt\u0131. Zorbal\u0131k, k\u00f6t\u00fc niyetten de\u011fil \u00e7o\u011fu zaman g\u00f6r\u00fclmeyen duygusal ihtiya\u00e7lardan, bast\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f hislerden do\u011far. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":254505,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rank_math_lock_modified_date":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[78],"tags":[37832,8082,3221],"class_list":["post-254484","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-yasam","tag-aile","tag-okulda-zorbalik","tag-zorbalik"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254484"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/37"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=254484"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254484\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":254529,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254484\/revisions\/254529"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/254505"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=254484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=254484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tgrthaber.com\/mavikadin\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=254484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}